You know you're really a mom when...

• You count the number of sprinkles on each kids cupcake to make sure they're equal
• You have time to shave only one leg at a time
• You hide in the bathroom to be alone
• Your child throws up and you catch it
• Someone else's kid throws up at a party and you keep eating
• You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance
• You mastered the art of placing food on a plate without anything touching
• Your child insists that you read "Once Upon A Potty" out loud in the lobby of a doctors office and you do it
• You hire a babysitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking in on the kids
• You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats
• You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother
• You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then you obsess when he skips in without looking back
• You can't bear to give away baby clothes--it's so final
• You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes."
• You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you
• You read that the average five-year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is "above average"
• You say at least once a day "I'm not cut out for this job," but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything!